Normally, “you were so quick” may not be considered a compliment after sex. After all, the Pointer Sisters sang, “I want a man with a slow hand,” not, “I want a man who is as fast as can be.” However, the Covid-19 coronavirus pandemic is not “normal times” and the San Francisco Department of Public Health (SF DPH) now has some quick advice about sex.

Specifically, in a “Tip Sheet for Safer Sex During the Covid-19 Pandemic” that was last updated on February 9, they say, “quicker can be better.” This includes emphasizing that “all sex qualifies as close contact.” That’s because unless you have set up a system of pulleys and really long selfie sticks, having in-person sex with another person will likely involve bringing you within six feet. Six feet is one Denzel, because Denzel Washington is about six feet tall and not because Denzel has agreed to join. The SF DPH emphasizes that “it’s important to know that if you are just sitting near or standing within 6 feet of someone with Covid-19 for 15 minutes altogether over 24 hours, that also means you have had a high-risk exposure and would count as a ‘close contact.’” Since you may not be able to change the distance with your partner or partners, time would then be the only thing that you can work with (or against) during sex.

So then an Ocean’s 11-like, “get in, do what you have to do, and then get out” approach seems to be the suggestion here. This is not to imply that your genitals are like the vaults at the Bellagio, the Mirage, and the MGM Grand casinos. Or that it’s OK to say after sex, “You of all people should know, in your hotel, there's always someone watching,” like Tess Ocean said to Terry Benedict in the movie. But it does recognize that sometimes slow romance is not needed and some people may want to just “bang one out,” so to speak.

That’s not the only advice offered by the SF DPH. They also emphasize that “just like with other diseases, you can’t tell what’s up just by looking at someone, no matter how fine they look.” (OK, in this case, “what’s up” presumably means “what the person’s health status is.” There are some things that you can tell are up just by looking.) This advice on the Tip Sheet points to the fact that a person can be infectious without even knowing it. Since Covid-19 genetic material (mRNA) has been found in saliva, the throat, the upper airway, feces, and the rectum, there is a broad range of activities that can transmit the virus when people are close together. After all, sex can be like Body Fluid Jeopardy!