I am 45, he is 46 and we have been married for more than 20 years. We had a bumpy patch early on and he had a brief affair with an old flame from his teens.

This investigator called asking for my husband a year ago. I listened in to their conversation on the extension phone but haven’t told him I overheard.

He told the investigator he didn’t want contact and put down the phone.

Lockdown has given me time to think and I keep wondering if that woman had his child. I tried to call back but the number was withheld.

DEIDRE SAYS: The person you can and need to speak to is your husband – though it is possible he doesn’t know the answer since he refused contact.

Admit you overheard and say you can’t rest for worrying. But remember, you survived that episode and you can get through this too. If he is sitting on a secret, it might bring you closer to share it.