12 Must-Try Threesome Positions for First-Timers and Beyond
Congrats! You realized you want to have a threesome, and even found two hotties to do it with. *Claps.*
The only problem? Y’all can’t figure out logistically what sex between three people looks like!
And that’s where this threesome sex position guide comes in.
Below, sex educators share the best threesome sex positions for oral sex, hand sex, mutual masturbation, double vaginal penetration, double penetration, and everything in between.
For tips on how to make the threesome happen, check out our guide — How to Have a Threesome, Whether You’re Single or in a Relationship — then come right back here.
These five tips will set yourself up for pleasure, regardless of position.
Remember how expansive the definition of threesomes really is
Porn may have led you to believe that threesomes are all about penetration and double penetration. So let the record show that a threesome doesn’t need to include penetration to qualify as a threesome.
A threesome is, simply, sex that happens between three people, says sexuality, body, confidence, and kink educator Luna Matatas, creator of Peg The Patriarchy.
And that sex can be many different expressions of pleasure!
It can be virtual, in person, or a mix.
It can include hand sex, oral sex, solo sex, or a mix.
It can feature vaginal intercourse, anal intercourse, both the types of intercourse simultaneously, or a mix. And so much more!
TL;DR: Threesome ≠ penetrative sex.
Communicate about what the threesome is going to look like beforehand
To manage expectations and ensure the most pleasurable experience for all parties, Matatas says it’s important to ask and answer the following before stripping down:
- What kinds of things turn you on/off?
- What barriers do we want to use for what sex acts?
- What’s been your previous experience with threesomes?
- What sexy things are on the menu and which ones are off the menu?
- What is everyone’s level of involvement?
- Are some people just watchers, or are there boundaries around certain sex acts with certain people?
- Are there other boundaries or concerns?
Use lube!
Do threesome quickies exist? Sure! But if you’re reading a list of the best threesome positions, odds are the threesome in your horizon won’t be one.
And while it’s well-documented that all sex is made more pleasurable by lube, lube is especially important for lengthy love-making.
The longer the sex session goes on, the less likely the body is able to produce ample lubrication to keep the session enjoyable, explains Searah Deysach, sex educator and owner of Early to Bed, a pleasure-product company in Chicago that ships worldwide.
Adding in store-bought lubrication ensures that any bumping and grinding remains pleasurable instead of getting friction-y.
Don’t shy away from using toys
“What toys you use will depend on personal preferences, and what everyone is comfortable doing and to whom,” says Deysach.
“But sex toys can add in more options for play and pleasure, and make sure that everyone can have something fun happening to their body if hands, tongues, and genitals are otherwise occupied.” Noted!
Talk about post-sex needs, pre-play
Before the threesome starts, you want to negotiate what’s going to happen when the threesome ends, says queer sex educator Marla Renee Stewart, MA, sexpert for Lovers, an adult wellness brand and retailer.
You might discuss:
- Who is going to be sleeping where?
- Who will be doing the toy and sheet clean-up?
- What snacks and drinks do you want to have on hand?
- Could any first-aid supplies be necessary?
Consider this grinding position if:
- you’re concerned about unwanted pregnancy
- you’re concerned about sexually transmitted infections (STIs)
- you really really enjoy external genital stimulation
“Have one person on their back and then the other two people grinding on each leg,” says Stewart.
If one (or both!) of the people doing the grinding want to be anally or vaginally penetrated, you can incorporate a thigh harness like the SportSheets Thigh Strap On, which you can buy online, and a dildo.
Speaking of sex toys: The laying partner might use their go-to vibrator or stroker on themselves.